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It's not abuse
There are no
no outlandish scars
no black eyes
I told myself
I will not be fooled again
I told myself
he's realized his mistakes
I always said,
if it was me,
I'd leave after the first strike,
the first blow,
there were no blows,
there were no strikes
it was just a bad situation
bad things happen,
once in awhile,
all of his stories are the same,
they were all crazy,
he was just trying to help them,
don't bother with her,
she's a basket case
nothing matches up
there are no truths,
there is no substance
I feel sick.
it's not like that,
you're just over-reacting,
that's not what I said,
you're just hearing what you want to hear
I've been had.
No matter how much I tell myself,
that getting anxious will do me no good,
that I should be above all this,
that it will just make things worse
my body hums with anxiety,
it will never
puppetPuppet on a string, puppet on a fucking string,
Manipulate me, make me dance,
I'm your entertainment,
Like a wounded animal caught in a trance.
Round and round I go, on parade, its all for show,
I'm your entertainment; I'm your toy,
Here when you're lonely, here to bring you joy.
I can't see this ending, but then I couldn't see the start,
Broken and torn by you,
Yet you still hold my heart.
Its broken and bleeding,
Lying in your hand,
Tightened my strings, too hard to stand.
I'm here, I'm waiting for you to appear,
Tangled in my strings, caught within my fear.
When will it end, make the spinning stop,
I am your paper doll,
Tossed aside and crumpled,
waiting for you to smooth me out or set me alight.
A slap across the face is like a tender touch,
I would give anything for you to look at me again
I am your paper doll, crumpled and forgotten.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More